Funny Bouts

For the people of Mumbai small fights and petty quarells are never a new thing. We notice them day in and day out. Mumbai lives a very fast paced life. You tend to wonder at times why, but people at mumbai are always on the move. Nothing can stop us, not even Qasab`s AK-47.

Local trains are Mumbai`s life-line, the hustle-bustle and rush at local trains is sometimes irritating but many a times entertaining, atleast for me :P . In all this years of travelling through these massive engineering marvels(read-Local Trains), I have noticed innumerable fights among people. Let me share a few....

Bout no. 01
If i remember it correctly, the day was 2`nd October(Gandhi jayanti). I was travelling to meet my girl. In my compartment, there got in a guy who was drunk and was stinking so badly that we felt we would die to death out of that stink. He was murmurring on his own and rest passengers were least botherred. A old man was in front of this drunken hero. This Drunken hero starting raising questions on Mahatma Gandhiji`s work and contribution towards Indian freedom struggle and in his drunken state he unknowingly abused gandhiji too. The old man was a true gandhian. he felt objected and yelled to the drunken-hero to shut-up his mouth. But our hero was not ready to listen, he infact increased the scale of abusing. The Old man was furious to the core and he thought of taken matters to his hand. He pushed the drunken man out of the train on the next station and got down with him. All of a sudden we noticed that old man was beating this drunken-hero. The train left in 15 seconds. But we could hear the old man yelling at drunken hero, the question he raised " @#$A%%^$#, Kai kela aahes tu deshasathi"( A swear in marathi and then "what have you done for our country"). My train moved and I smiled. If i was a cheerleader, i would have cheered for the old man. Go Oldy Go!!!

Bout No. 02
This one fight was the comediest of all. The reason this fight started was Rs. 3.50/-. Yes, it cant get sillier than this. As usual this fight involved two men, one being the owner of a neighbouring STD booth and the other being a semi-literate Customer. This STD booth is bang opposite to my office. Its so near that we can easily hear conversations happening at that booth, and if its a fight whose not interested. On that day, I saw this customer coming out of the booth, he was to pay Rs. 3.50/- for the telephone call he made. The owner readily asked for it as the system generated a bill for the call made. The customer apparently objected on the fact that he did not hear the voice on the other side of the call, which accordng him was a "No Call". The customer refused to pay and as usual we had a agitated owner. The owner held the customer by the collar of his shirt and gave him a nice dhamki, "Better pay or else". The customer said something which had all the by-standers and onlookers in splits, he(customer) had a serious expression to ask a silly question, "Now, will you fight with me?". Wether that was a question or an offer, i still wonder but what i remember is the customer had to pay the amount and we onlookers had a hearty laugh.

Bout No. 03
This happened yesterday on the Mulund railway station between A man who was in his late thirtes(oldy) and a College student. This oldy was apparently pushed by the student. It happens in Mumbai, the trains are croudier than u expect and many a time u have to push people to board or alight the train. I suspect the student must have pushed this oldy to alight the train as the train stops for less than 15 seconds on one particular station and all the boarding and alighting has to be done in this 15 seconds. I wonder how lakhs of commuters regulary do this day in and day out.
The push agitated the oldy he turned around to abuse the student. The student gave him a fitting reply. Oldy was furious, he pushed the student back. The student came back and pushed the oldy harder. Oldy, like a hindi film hero, quickly kept his plastic bag down, removed his spex and watch and kept it inside. We onlookers were thrilled to witness a nice bout. Then after doing all this nakhra the oldy got into fisticuffs business. He tried to push the student back in true Akhada-Kushti style. The fun began for us. Apparently the oldy was a foot shorter than the student and the student was well built too. The Oldy like a kusthi-pehelwaan started to push the student which he could not. To add to the oldy`s embarassment was he could not over power the student. The student started his act by now, he started pushing the oldy. The scene resembled a catholic wedding as if the Bride and Bride-groom are doing their wedding jive. we laughed our lungs out as no one was actually hitting the other party. They were pushing each other here and there like small children fighting for a ball. The end came in the form of two old men. They interferred and pushed both these Tyson`s aside.

Enjoy!!!